Wide Open Realms - Explore the Infinite Unknown

Psychedelics - Good or Bad? Profound or Pointless? Psychedelic experiences can be profound and transformative, but can often leave me wondering if I’m simply spinning my wheels. What is the point? Is this actually making my life better? Or am I plunging myself deeper into the void? This is an attempt to work with my psychedelic experiences on a conscious level and hopefully integrate these experiences in a lasting way so as to actually make my life better. I don’t know yet if that will be the result of this work. Maybe the benefits of these experiences are intangible and simply work on the subconscious level. Maybe there is no benefit at all. Maybe there is actually a detriment to my psyche that insidiously works its way in by showing me these amazing things, leading me deeper down a rabbit hole to which there is no end, taking me farther and farther from objective reality. Intuitively I believe that is not the case. I believe there is some intrinsic value to be gleaned from these experiences, but I have to remain honest with myself that I do not know the answer to that question. This began as a report of my recent experimentation with the molecule N,N-Dimethyltryptamine (DMT), perhaps one of the most potent psychedelics in existence. I say “perhaps one of” because its brother 5-Methoxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamine (5-MEO-DMT) is certainly a contender for the title. In writing this article, I realised the story was too long for just one post, so this will be the first in a series titled “My Psychedelic Journey.” This account will include my experiences with 5-MeO-DMT, taken in the form of the toad venom secretion known as “Bufo,” as well as my experiences with Ayahuasca, Rapé, and Peyoté. I will attempt to detail my experiences to the best of my ability and I hope to answer some of my own questions regarding these experiences and their impact on my soul and psyche. The Call to Adventure - Meeting 5-MeO-DMT I was living in West Vancouver, BC during the time of Covid-19. I had moved into a beautiful house with some other people and initially had thought that I was entering into a magical new period of my life marked by purpose, mystical experiences and community. Without going into too much detail about the situation at the time, it wasn’t working out. What I had thought was my new home and life was simply another stepping stone on my journey. I was feeling confused and disillusioned. While sitting in the living room reading a book called “Hands of Light: A Guide to Healing Through the Human Energy Field,” my friend walked in holding a vape pen that another roommate had left behind when moving out. “I think it’s DMT,” he said. He took a small hit, said “Oh, yeah, it is,” and offered the pen to me. I’m not usually one to dive into a psychedelic experience with no preparation, but something came over me at that moment. Like the fool blindly and blissfully stepping off the cliff, I took the vape pen from him, put it to my lips, pressed the button and slowly inhaled as much as my lungs could possibly take. I will do my best to describe what is essentially indescribable. I was immediately catapulted into another realm. It was like merging with a rainbow, if that makes any sense. All was light and colour. I had no body. I could not remember who I was. I remember thinking, “So this is what life is now.” I did not think I was ever going to return. I thought I had died. It was both terrifying and astonishing. After what felt like a hundred years in this formless realm of light and colour, I finally felt my voice, and realised I was exhaling. I have no way of knowing how long I was holding it in before that exhale, while I was in that space it was essentially timeless. After exhaling, I was still half in the realm of light and colour, but I was again aware of my body. A national geographic documentary about chimpanzees was playing on the TV and the narration seemed to have direct significance to what was happening in my mind, as if it was narrating my trip. My friend was walking in circles laughing. I asked him to come to me and hold my hands. As we held each other’s hands I went into another journey in my mind. He and I were together on this journey. We were in the jungle. I was determined not to let go of his hands, they were my only anchor point to the reality I had always known. But he was on his own journey. After a while, he let go of my hands and handed me the book I had been reading. “I turn you over to the Hands of Light,” he told me. I closed my eyes and accepted that this was the point from which I had to go it alone. In my mind’s eye, I saw myself venture into the jungle. Alone. The Journey Continues This is neither the beginning nor the end of my psychedelic journey, and I might at some point in this series dig deeper into my past to explore my experiences with mushrooms and LSD. But to keep things concise, this seemed like a good starting point for the story. Part 2 finds our intrepid hero in the land of Mexico, exploring ancient ruins and connecting with the spirit of the Toad at a totally weird retreat centre. Stay tuned.

Wide Open Realms - Explore the Infinite Unknown

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